I never thought there would be a scarier villain than the Joker… But then I saw The Dark Knight Rises.

The Dark Knight Rises Reaction: DON’T TAKE THAT BATMAN!

The lads and I went and watched The Dark Knight Rises on Saturday, and to be honest I’m not 100% convinced it lived up to the hype. Although, I had to leave it a while before reviewing it so I could talk with people about it and understand how I truly felt about this huge blockbuster.

The cast is insane (incase you haven’t seen The Dark Knight) Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Pretty cool ay!? Tom Hardy (Bane) had an especially daunting task following in the footsteps of the amazing Heath Ledger (The Joker). But he did a great job, he has become huge, like proper hench! His mask is especially creepy as well, an all round brilliant Batman villain. The strange effect on his voice makes it hard to understand him at points along with the accent he is putting on, perhaps that could have been toned down but I’m just being picky.

The aspects that let me down slightly were the fact Batman firstly is a cripple, secondly he is constantly getting mugged off by girls especially Selina/Cat woman (Hathaway) who looks great in that outfit. The final disappointment is Banes abrupt and boring death (that’s all I’ll say on the matter). Apart from these few things the film was great, I found the story pretty gripping with the odd twist. There should have been more fighting, some points I just wanted to scream punch him in the face or punch her in the tit! In 2 hours and 44 minutes there should have been more action and less talking.

Overall Verdict: Not the film of the year, however, I would say it’s definitely top 5. Avengers still owns the top spot and I don’t think anything (in my opinion) will make it budge. The Dark Knight Rises is a definite must see, just don’t build your hopes up way too high. The cast is insane, the cinematography is quality and the characters are as cool as ever. This is tricky to rate, either a very high GREAT or a low WOW hmmm…

GREAT – (Generally had a Really Exciting Amazing Time)

I never thought so many other Alien films could be ripped off so much by one film… but then I saw Storage 24.

Storage 24 Reaction: Why are films like this even made??

Storage 24 is awful. Luckily hardly any cinemas are showing it anymore due to practically no one paying to see it, but when it arrives on DVD/Blu-Ray, don’t even chance it.

I went into this film with the idea that an alien film set in London can’t be that bad. British films are usually quite good when compared to a Hollywood film with a ludicrous $$$ budget, so I thought I may actually enjoy this film. The only thing this film gave me were a few laughs at some funny scenes. Scenes that I don’t even think the film-makers intended to make comedic.

The acting is awful. An alien is locked inside a warehouse with several people trapped inside, and the only thing Noel Clarke (Kidulthood, Adulthood, Dr. Who) cares about is getting back with his ex-girlfriend. The actors seem to run around as if they’re part of Mystery Inc, and that chasing monsters is part of their day to day lives. No, you morons! Run away! Talk about your pathetic relationship troubles later! Idiots.

The horror is suspense-less and blunt. The place is pitch black, then the alien’s head appears. That’s meant to frighten us. There’s no skill in that?! You need to build the audience up, even I know that and all I do is write about films, I wouldn’t know how to make one. But it seems like I’d know better than this shit director. Other parts of the horror are just purely funny. A man gets ripped in two from the waist down. He’s obviously dead, right? Wrong. Around 2 hours later, he magically comes alive again, only for a second, and then dies. It just isn’t logical. It’s not scary because it’s so unrealistic. It’s just funny that director thought that would be scary to the audience.

The alien itself is basically a ‘prawn‘ from District 9. In fact, it’s exactly like that. Sounds the same, looks the same.

Overall verdict: I’m glad I watched it, so that I knew how shit it was, otherwise when it came out on DVD/Blu-Ray, I may have been tempted to buy it. Now I can luckily pass on my knowledge of this film to you guys, and let you know that it’s absolutely…

SHIT – (Seriously Horrible Insulting Trash)

I never thought another Marvel film would be able to compete with Avengers Assemble… but then I saw The Amazing Spider-Man.

The Amazing Spider-man Reaction: Rock on Spidey!

Andrew Garfield takes the red and blue mask from Tobey Maguire in the most recent Marvel film since Avengers Assemble. And all I can say is wow, Marvel are really churning out some badass films. Like seriously amazing. I can see why they named it “The Amazing Spider-Man” now.

Initially, the trailers didn’t particularly interest me. Initially, the cast didn’t particularly interest me. Initially, the whole idea of a Spider-man reboot didn’t interest me, especially with the Lizard as the villain, who (from playing the old school PS1 games) seemed like a particularly poor character. Boy, how wrong I was about everything. I was blown away.

I think I was initially sceptical about the new Spider-man reboot because I didn’t particularly enjoy the original film series. Tobey Maguire always seemed really pathetic, and, to be honest, he made me hate the Spider-man character, which is annoying, because he used to be my favourite superhero due to the 90’s Spider-man cartoon. Andrew Garfield has brought Spider-man back to his glory days. He was great in The Social Network, and he’s even better in this. Smart, funny and genuinely interesting. And not at all pathetic.

Emma Stone. Oh my god, Emma Stone. Yes, I’d seen her in Easy A, and she’s funny in that. But here, where she plays a new love interest for Spidey called Gwen Stacey, she’s unbelievable. Sexy, hilarious, geeky (but not too geeky), and sexy. So much better than Kirsten Dunst. In all honesty, Stone makes this film. If it wasn’t for her, I’d only rate this film a GREAT. Her in knee high socks = omfg.

Rhys Ifans portrays Dr. Conners/the Lizard brilliantly: I haven’t seen Ifans in many serious roles, but he plays this bad guy so well. I think he’s one of the best Marvel baddies I’ve seen. Easily better than the other Spider-man bad guys from the previous films.

Overall verdict. Everything about this film is better than it’s predecessors. Everything. The cast. The characters. The cinematography. The comedy (this film is so much funnier than the other Spidey films). You won’t be disappointed. It’s so good, it’s nearly as good as Avengers Assemble. Nearly. But it’s certainly up there in the same WOW category.

WOW – (Worthy Of a Wank)

I never thought I’d be so interested in Psychics… but then I saw Red Lights.

Red Lights Reaction: Can be a little scary!

My brother and I saw Red Lights nearly two weeks ago now, so I apologise for only just getting round to reviewing it. The film follows a Psychology University lecturer and her assistant who (by night) are also paranormal investigators, who decide to take on the world’s most famous psychic while he is on a huge American tour. Bad shit happens. And there’s a huge OMFGWTF moment at the end.

According to the internet (so it must be true), there’s been a load of discussion as to whether this twist ending worked or didn’t work, which I can understand both sides to. For example, my brother hated the plot twist and said it killed the film. Whereas I loved it and I thought it made the film from a GOOD to a GREAT.

Ellen Ripley Sigourney Weaver (Alien 1-4, Ghostbusters 1 & 2, Avatar) stars as the Lecturer, while Cillian Murphy plays her assistant (28 Days Later, Batman Begins, Inception, In Time) and Robert de Nero (basically every Martin Scorsese film) portrays the world-renouned psychic.

The film is actually quite scary in some parts, but please don’t go into this film thinking it’s going to be just another Paranormal Activity: how could it when it has the likes of de Nero in the film?! This is more like today’s The Sixth Sense, a horror/thriller that really works well for horror fans, as well as for fans of great filmmaking.

Overall verdict: such a brilliant film, it had me gripped the whole time. A lot doesn’t make sense until the final scene, where the twist is revealed. It didn’t do too well at the box office unfortunately so many cinemas aren’t showing this anymore, however this is definitely one for you guys to rent when it comes out on home media. Go get it!

GREAT – (Generally had a Really Exciting Amazing Time)